So you have a guy, and now, the objective is to keep him. Here’s some helpful advice. The following items have not been ranked in any order. These are things that’ I’ve gathered from experience, from myself, or friends etc. Here are the things that you can do to keep things going steady and to make sure he’s stays into you.
1. Give Him Guy Time: There is nothing like male bonding. It’s the bases for the male existence. Allow him a some time to spend with the fellas. Watching a game, playing a game of basketball, poker, a night out on the down, the Star Wars convention, or a round of paintball. Let him have his “Buddy time”. Fratnizing with the boys, is how we adapt socially to a lot of things. It’s our comfort zone. It helps us functions, it sorta ties in with #2.
2. Bolster Masculinity. Hey, guy’s egos are fragile and they break easy, right DM. Sometime he just needs a little boost, especially from the love of his life that he’s doing a good job. A reminder that he’s doing a good job, with being the “MAN” in the relationship. Simple comments or just a pat on the back will do the trick. You’d be surprised how far ” I’m glad I have you to walk me to my car” can go.. Trust ME. The more we feel like a man, the better, even when we are wimping out.
3. Cook for Him. Guys love it when someone cooks food for them. I mean seriously, who doesn’t. Being creatures of laziness, we will never turn down the chance to eat food, especially free, especially, home-cooked. Above all, we love to eat, even the skinny ones. Fix his favorite dish, or surprise him completely with a nice little meal, or maybe just a snack, after a hard day. Hopefully he’ll return the favor too!!
4. Rub/Play With His Hair. Seriously, this has got to be one of the most relaxing things in the world.(Okay, maybe this is MY personal preference, hehe) Guys appreciate a girl that will, take the time to play with his hair, or any other soothing place on his body(keep it clean folks). It’s the little things like these, that we remember, that we hold special.
5. Invest Time In What He Likes. Usually guys have a special quirk, or guilty pleasure that they like. Some like Sci-movies, or video-games, sports, or maybe puzzles or riddles, or making home movies. Take the time once in a while and show interest, and even pretend if you have to. Even is you can’t bring yourself to do this, then simply don’t give him a hard time about liking these things. I had a buddy, once, a football player, real huge tough guy, but he enjoyed painting. His girlfriend almost made him feel ashamed for painting. It was just a horrible situation. Support your guys, and they will support you back.
6. Don’t Compare Him to Other Guys: This stems from the ego. Please don’t compare your guy another guy. Don’t say things like, “Why can’t you be more like”.. Especially don’t do it in front of the guy that you are comparing him to. He might not show it but, comments like these really get under a guy’s skin. If there are things that you would like your guy to improve on, there are ways to suggest these things, without embarrassing him. Be kind, be stern, be subtle. We will eventually get the hint.
7. Make Good With His Friends: Okay, seriously. This is great advice. If the the relationship is just starting off, by all means, try your best to make sure his close friends like you, and if he has roommates, they take top priority. Personally right now I’m in a situation where my room-mate’s girlfriend, wouldn’t speak to me, when she was around the apartment. It caused a bunch a friction, and I confronted my room-mate on the issue. Look, guys are somewhat easily pressured and persuaded by other guys, especially friends. If you can’t make it with the guys, you’re going to be fighting the uphill battle. We will ragged and you tear you down, to the point where your guy will almost feel bad about dating you. Sometimes we do not show mercy. We aren’t jealous, that you’re taking him away from us, but you have to know that YOU can’t just blow us off, when you’re around.
Good luck..
Filed under: Advice, Couples, Dating, Guy Stuff, Guys, Life, Love, Men, Relationships, Society, Women, date, fun, girls, random
I have a total personal issue with #3. Which is more like venting, as opposed to actually arguing with you.
We needed lunch. Being a guy with his own pad, he needs something to feed him for at least the next few days. I offer to cook comfort food. Something with meat, carbs, and veggies (It’s really just ground beef with a veggie, seasoned with soy sauce, and usually served over rice). I OFFERED to cook. And I’m usually crazy lazy about cooking for anyone, even for myself. I’m not that domesticated. We get to the grocery store, I’m looking around for a pound of ground beef (when I cook this for myself, it’s gone in two days… tops) — and he manages to convince me baked ziti is better.
Yes, it’s totally all kinds of cute and awesome and impressive when the guy cooks — but my dad is the dominant chef in my house, not my mom. So, for him to cook it’s normal. For me to cook — you gotta be immensely special. He’s always made food for me. I usually just go out and buy something pre-made. Do you see my issue here?
I’m still semi-grumpy about this.
In other news, I’m always guilty of #2 and #6 — which was why I was really wanting to do the #3. And I didn’t get to.
/end vent
Corinne you crack me up. I can see your grip about your situation. HAHA Maybe you should surprise him anyways with your Bee-Veggie-Rice Dish.
Justin… Love all the things you write here. I agree with and do pretty much all of these things, except my guy has no hair (see pics on flickr) but I do rub his bald head and I think he likes it. It’s such a different sensation than what you get from hair and if more women allowed themselves to experience it, I am sure they would like it.
My guy loves fantasy ball games and alas, I think they are a waste of time! However, I do have conversations with him about it and we even went to a live draft, or he did, and I had a nice time in NYC with Gabriel until he was done.
I would LOVE it if my DH would bring some of his friends home, but outside of one, he really doesn’t do it. He prefers to go out… but mostly he likes his fantasy baseball.
Hey, DH is always telling me that I should not go out of my way to cook for him. He calls a one pot deal an “extravagant” meal! I still love to cook for him because my Italian gene is alive and well. Even with is displayed indifference, I know that he appreciates to have “something” ready when he gets home. He is always commenting to others that when he gets out of work, all he wants to do is EAT… still he tells me not to cook!
You KNOW I bolster DH’s masculinity. Ego’s! I let him tell me the same stories about work, EVERY day! Seriously, this is good. Hey, he listens to me talk about my shopping expeditions and believe me, I go into DETAIL. I realize that we both listen to each other’s really trivial stuff. Stuff that we, ourselves, are not interested in and would rather be sleeping!
I suppose I should comment on the others, too… now that I’ve gotten my cooking rant out of the way…
#1 — Incidentally, since moving into his own place, I’ve been his only friend who has gone to see the place. I have met his friends before. I don’t begrudge him his buddy time… Not like we have social lives (much) outside each other though… anyway…
#4 – I *COULD* say that I’m responsible for him growing a beard because I do love me some scruff… but truth of the matter is — he’s lazy when it comes to shaving. Which I totally understand. But I don’t shave my legs… which is a different story. My favorite thing to rub ever is his beard. Next is his head hair. I mean, it makes sense, if I love my head rubs, then the converse must also be true.
#5 – We happen to have similar interests. Art, internet, blogging, geeked out things… that bit worked out well, thank god.
I don’t have much to comment on the others, and I’ve pretty much covered #3 above.
I think whenever the comfort food reappears at my house, I’m definitely stealing away at least 1/4 lb of beef. And an equal amount of rice (no veggies, unfortunately — they don’t keep well in the fridge). And maybe you won’t believe me if I said so — but I have a 15 oz bottle of soy sauce on my desk at work.
I do all of these things. I might easily consider myself a goddess.
I’m off to buy myself a trophy now. Yay me!
Daemwigginnsflee,
Thanks for stopping by the blog. I’m glad you do all of those things.. You do deserve a trophy. You can’t be real..LOL..
Ahh the guy time, something i never got in my lats relationship and when i did get it she was on the phone every 5 minutes…
Horsey
The only thing I would add to this list is to keep it alive sexually…(I’ll keep it clean here) (kinda)
If your man has fantasies, indulge them. If you have fantasies, tell him about them. Maybe he’ll indulge yours. Communication and trust are key here…but trust me, if there is something he wants that he is not getting it, no matter how big or how small, eventually he will look for it elsewhere.
I know not all guys will – but you never know. And putting yourself out there for him – and asking him to do the same for you, will only bring you closer.
Hey Justin,
You’re going to follow this up with 7 ways to keep your woman, right?
teehee!
Dame,
HAHA i guess you’re right, I’ll have to follow up with that.. Hmmmmm Unless you want to write that.. LOL
Oh, my version would be obscene. WordPress would most certainly ban me for life!
Have at it, sir. I have faith in ya’. lol
Justin,
Interesting list, very sterotypical. I personally would take some acceptions to some of what you said about men.
Personally, I think it boils down to mutal respect, not keeping score and unconditional love. If you have these 3 things, everything else will flow.
Mark,
Yes, this is a somewhat superifical list, I don’t mention things like love, respect, patientce, understanding. All of which I agree are very important and vital things in any relationship. People have a hard enough time, managing the basics, how can we expect them to master the deeper aspects of a relationship. Thank you for adding to the conversation your comments are always welcomed.
[...] Society, Life, random, Advice, Relationships, Women, Uncategorized This is the sister post to Keep Him: 7 Way to Keep Your Guy. By Popular demand,
,. Here is a GENERAL list of things you can do, to keep things things [...]
oh, if only t’were that simple, i do ‘em all. without even thinking. go me. mah. it ain’t helping me now, i can tell ya.
Great list. Somehow I found myself guilty of all 7….time to rethink about it. Hope it’s not late.
Honestly …. this bunch of hilarious crap is written by a MAN….
so he is obviously going to tell you “Be a slave for men” “they will stay with you slave girl”
A lot of his points are actually true for 95% of men but you ONLY do these AFTER about 2 to 3 years of dating and even
then you have to not do ALL the steps at once.
See … men like the “Whats next” and they want to feel “Special”
So if you just vomit all these things on him.. you’ll run dry and he will feel like your dried up and boring and go seek new adventures elsewhere.
They key is a steady stream throughout your lifetime…
Give him something to hope and wish for!!!
Keep him in there.
He he he the first year of dating is almost Entirely about physical attraction anyways, and what you have in common.
His friends not liking you will make you or brake you the first year.
As far as common interests go.. this is a BIG ONE but nto as big as SEX
SEX to men is roughly 95% of everything.
Men see everything from a Sex point of view… even things like food they might compare it to a genital or think of something sexually related to do.
They might pick a video game or video game character simply because they find them sexually attractive.
Men RESPECT what they find sexually attractive more than that which they don’t, and that is fact.
The man I am seeing has this big cat woman obsession….
So for his Birthday I dressed up as cat woman and waited for him at home.
I “was a bad girl” and he F****ed super hard…
His face just lit up and he got something from me nobody else gave him….
He was calling me dirty names and I would be his “little slut” as he called it and I did love it…
It was steamy actually and I enjoyed it very much..
So I do urge girls to try what your man likes..
You might surprise yourself.
Summary-
Don’t use up all your tricks , even distribution is key.
Make nicey nice with his friends.
Invest time into learning about things he likes.
Give him KILLER SEX.
Keep him well fed.
~love~
Cáprika
Caprika,
Thanks for stopping by the blog. Interested post. While yes Most men are sex obessed, Id like to believe that not ALL men are like so. But atleast we both agree on two ways; keeping him fed and playing nice with his friends.
-J