She’s Having the Baby NOT You!!!

A guy walks up to me at work, all excited and full of joy. Promotion?, Fired?, Preparing to blow the office completely to bits, I wondered to myself.  So as I stand preggers.jpgthere, stirring my drink, he begins to babble about the “most wonderful” thing.  I take the bait and ask, Why are you so excited?  He pauses, and says.. “I’m having a baby” and runs off before I can even get a congratulations in, or a I’m sorry you life will owned in about nine months 🙂

Excuse me, but the last time I checked it’s biological impossible for a guy to have a baby, and no let’s not try and see if we can prove that wrong.  Yes times have changed, no longer subjected to the waiting room couch and smoking cigars,–men are allowed in the delivery room with the mother,  to hold and comfort her, to have obscenities yell at them, and above all to remind her to breathe.  That’s all fine, I really don’t see a problem with that. But I do have a concern with is the growing epidemic of men who “think”they are pregnant. If I hear another guy say, I’m tired, because, I’m having a baby, I think I will seriously hurt someone.  Stop walking around like you’re bloated, and  by the way she’s eating for two, not you, so put the porkchop down.  Your feet swell because you have poor circulation and don’t exercise, don’t try and steal her excuses.

More and more everyday, I believe that gender roles are slowly but surely blending into one.  Which in a way is good, it removes some of the limiting stereotypes that are placed on men and women.  I mean stay at home dads, and female construction workers are not that uncommon anymore. It’s ok for a guy to the do the dishes, and a woman to cut the grass.  But have gender roles blended so well, that now, men, actually think they are pregnant.  This is her time to shine, her time in the spotlight.  Stop being such a mirror whore and go and do something productive. Paint the new nursery, build the crib, work more, you’re going to need the extra cash.

So fellas, please stop running around saying “We’re pregnant” or  We”re having a baby”, because clearly you aren’t.  I understand the taking care of a baby, is a dual-equal process, or well it should.  But let’ face it until you’re squeezing a seven pound bundle of joy out of a small hole, there’s only one person “having” a baby. 

Photograph by Phillip Toledano

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8 Responses

  1. My Brother’s pregnant!

    Yep, his wife is having a baby! Just heard last night. Justin, so timely of you to write this article. I think I am on the fence with this one because I think it’s cute that men think they’re having the baby. My DH is very sensitive and though he did not develop a belly, he could not be in the delivery room with me and I wanted him there. He is just too sensitive and can’t bear to see me in any kind of discomfort.

    Some men develop “sympathy” symptoms when their wives are pregnant. I’ve heard that it’s because they are subconsciously jealous of all the attention the women get.

  2. Justin,
    What a rant!
    When you are an expectant father it is very natural to be excited. Yes, the wife is physically pregnant, however they are having the baby together and the more the man buys into this the better, because having a child, as wonderful as it is, is also a lot of work!
    As DM said, men do feel very connected and do have sympathy pains and weight gain, this is part of the process in a very close relationship, it really is okay.
    This is a time to allow people to be. I agree, I would not have much tolerance for the man complaining, however, it is there way of communicating their stress, anxiety and excitment over this mystery which is happening to them. I say, allow them to “be”.

  3. OK, I remember when, the pregnancy thing happened and yes I was excited, but i dont think i ever said I was pregnant, my other half would have shot me I am sure..

    Horsey

  4. HaHa, Yes this perscetive has changed through the years. I kind of think its nice that guys want to be more involved. If it makes them feel closer to the whole experence. Then go for it.
    Granted if someone at work did come up to me like that. I would turn and have a good laugh.
    But hay, to each his own way with the most beautiful experence of your life.

  5. If my husband, who is very fit and worries about his weight, would have said “we’re pregnant” I would have told him that when he has a spare tire around his waist, five yards of extra stretched out skin, and six inch stretch marks on his bum, stomach, and boobs to show for it, then we can talk – until then, “I’m” pregnant

  6. See that’s what I’m talking ABOUT… agrees whole heartly with IamsoPissed.. LOL

  7. Yes, and “we” stop having a baby, when she has to get up and feed it all through the night, and change its nappies and so on…..

  8. My hubby had pregnancy symptoms – besides gaining some extra lbs. This guy was excited.

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