Do I have STUPID written across my forehead, in some visible-in-black-light only ink, that I’m not aware of? Someone, be nice, tell me. Because lately certain people have just been treating me like, I’m the village idiot. Look I think I’m one of the most kindest, laid back guys you can meet and work with. I guess sometimes, people take my kindness for weakness, or in this case lack of intelligence/common sense. My roommate recently decided that life was too stressful him to handle (aboo whoo hoo) and picked up smoking. He’s been smoking on and off, even after we agreed not to have smoking in the apartment. I won’t even get into the issue that’s it’s more that cigarettes… Anywho after some weeks now, of dealing with it, and being NICE about it, I finally put my foot down–a size 13 thank you very much,
This is pretty much the speech I gave to my roommate-
” I was under the impression that we agreed upon no smoking in the apartment, both for the smell and health reasons. I mean I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my clothes smelling like tobacco-chewing Bubba’s bottom lip. Also, I’m trying to live a long healthy sexy life here, and well your second hand smoking, are taking off days of my super expected lifespan. So all of that being said, When I walk in the apartment and it smells like smoke, please don’t waste your breathe(you might it need in 30 years), telling me you weren’t smoking. Don’t try to elaborate the lie by saying the people downstairs were smoking, and it just comes up. If this apartment was a “real” person, it would have personality disorder, because you have it smelling like all 4 different seasons as once, in your weak, pathetic and down right whimsical attempt of covering up the smell. So don’t lie-yet again and say it smells nice in here, because you CLEANED-UP today, because you are the poster child for sloppiness.
You can do what you want with your body, but I have a problem when it begins to affect me. So, guess what? We’re going to rectify this situation, because me, and my currently dormant asthma have major beef with you. So here’s what’s going to happen. If you want to smoke, do it outside or on the balcony please, and If I catch you or I find evidence of smoking in the apartment again, I’ll just burn your eyes out with cigarette butts, it’s that simple.”
OMG you should have seen his face. He had this flabbergasted look on his mug. He was so shocked that I could tell he had been smoking in the apartment and the fact I went psycho-parent on his butt. He apologized and said he would stop smoking in the apartment; mission accomplished. Some times you just gotta pull out the guns.
Are thos dirty dishes from two weeks ago…