When the Roomie’s Away Justin Can Play

 My room mate is going to Vegas. I will have the apt to myself all week. Here a list of things I will do.

I will NOT feed his goldfish–He ever keeps the tank filled up, it sounds like we have a water fall in the apt.

Slide acorss the kitchen floor, after buttering/oiling it down.

Walk around in my undies–ALL DAY

Turn up the music & sing 90’s Pop Music( Tell me what you want, what you really really want)

I’ll use his colonge all week long

I’ll leave my leftovers in the Frig, for a change and not have to worry about them  disappearing.

Eat some Beef..


Do some YOGA

Not Clean up for a week.

OPEN all the blinds in the Apt for a change.


3 Responses

  1. You madman, you!

    Tap that apt!


  2. Um, Justin, man, you ARE smooth, but you gotta lot to learn about what to do when your roommate is gone. Here are some imaginative options for you to explore:

    – Get a hammer, nails and a couple friends and nail everything in his bedroom to the ceiling—a mirror image of his current room.

    – Put Bengay in the crotch of every pair of his underwear.

    – Change the locks.

    – Eat shrimp cocktail. Then take the tails and stick them in the ends of the curtain rods in his room. He will never find out where the stink is coming from.

    – Empty his toothpaste. Refill the tube with Desitin diaper cream.

    – If he left any shoes in his closet, superglue them to the floor exactly where they are.

    – Place a ziplock bag full of water under the top sheet of his bed. It will be barely noticeable, but when he gets in bed the seal will break and he will soak himself.

    – Install hidden cameras in his room.

    – Recruit a friend of yours he doesn’t know to be there when he gets home. Make sure your friend is sleeping in his bed. Naked. Tell him you rented out his room while he was gone and now you can’t get the guy to leave.

    – Don’t answer the phone anytime he calls while he is gone. Just before he is to arrive home, cover the door of your apartment with crime tape and smear the door with LOTS of fake blood.

    – Best of all, get a bunch of hot girls in short skirts to come over and take a bunch of pictures of them in the apartment with you seemingly having a party. When he gets home explain how the “Girls Gone Wild” bus broke down and you ended up partying in your apartment all night with the girls.

    This are all pretty easy—when you’re ready for advanced work, let me know.

  3. Guys, this is just for Monday.. Can a brother warm up? (Did i just call me self a brother, i’m losing it)

    You know me, living on the edge, heck I may even wear my shirt untucked..GASP

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