It’s Strep

OMG.. I have Strep. A (the biology major inside me makes me use italics).

So I’m sitting in Student Hell, I mean Health, waiting on some Dr to give me the news on what’s slowing down a healthy 20-something.  He tells me, “I don’t think it’s Strep” “No running nose, no cough”, but let’s swab you anyways(yes let’s add more $$$ to the bill).  Then his guy asks, “So do you normally gag on cotton swabbing” and “I respond, I wouldn’t know I’ve never been swabbed before.”  So he swabs me, and when he’s done he says “Aww you did good with that”(in some type of mildly homo-ertoic way).  So then he says I’ll send someone in to get this, it should take about ten mins.  15 mins later, “YOU HAVE STREP”…

So in Conclusion:

–I have really gotta stop the late night drinking and swapping saliva with strangers. It’s starting to catch up with me.

–I shouldn’t have play the “Pool House, then the Pool, then the Hot Tub, Then the Pool, then The Shower, then the rain covered cement” game on Friday.

–I shouldn’t have trusted the weird guy in the alley, that told me I could have all the Sea Men I wanted from my project, as long as I closed my eyes and sucked the out through a hose… (ok ok, I stole that one from South Park..)

Go head peeps, get your jabs in now… When I’m weeeeeeeeak…

But, if one more co-worker comes up to me says, “since you have a fever, I can legally say you’re HOT, and it can’t be considered sexual harassment”, I think I’ll lace their coffee cup with some Strep-tastic saliva.

 Now my own goals in life are to 1. Get better by my BURTHday.  2. Find the Nasty B##$*@# that gave me the this..


6 Responses

  1. I could make a gargling jest, but that would just be so wrong.

    Feel better, baby.

    I feel deeply for anyone that hurts whilst attempting to swallow.


  2. JV,
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  3. Ohhhh I hope you don’t get a rash….

  4. RASH… what rash…

  5. DUDE, I’m sickly now.. thanks bro,, REALLY just F#%(# swell..

  6. Strep with a rash is scarlet fever – my 3 year old had it – scary as hell, but ends up being not that different from regular strep!

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