So, I Picked up a Prostitute!

Ohh you know this is going to be a good one. I think it’s best told like this…

So I’m driving around my small little tranquil town. I mean a town so safe, we’ve had two murders in the past 25 years. Well I’m driving through a small community and I see a woman walking. And NOOOO i was not rubbe necking. She looked maybe if she was in her 30’s, dressed casually and walking. She had short black hair and walked with a little bounce. I had the windows down to let the breeze ruffle my hair err air out my car,when I pulled next to this walking lady. She waved and her arms spasmed in an attempt to stop me.

She asked me were I was headed and I told her I was running to the shopping center for my grandmother to pick up some milk and eggs etc.  She smile and said, they she really needed a ride to the store as well, to pick up some items for the kids. From this point, the market was about 3 miles, but completely doable. A woman with kids needing a ride. COME on people, how could I resist. She looked harmless, and so I told her that I would give her a ride. She thanked me and said that she would find another way back, or she would walk back.  She said was tired of walking and was so thankful that I drove by.

Well we don’t make it two blocks before she bombards me with the statement ” I wanna suck your C)*&, how much? I just want $20″. My eyes widen to the size of doughnuts and I look over at her. She unflenched, I slammed on the brakes, so hard the people walking on the sidewalk, got whiplash. Still in shock that (1 There is a hooker in my car. 2. I picked up that hooker.), I politely said “Ms please get out of my car” She continued with ” come on, $10 and I will suck your C@&*. Then firmly said ” LADY, get out of my car, NOW”. She smacked her lips and open the door and got out. I drove out, like bat outta hell, on acid.

I looked back in the rearview mirror, and she’s busy shaking her head and continues walking.  I begin to fuss myself out of course for being so STUPID. I wanted to drive back and tell her she ought to be ashamed or something,  but I knew it wasn’t my place, and nor was it going to be effective.

Me of all people.. ME..oh why me. I’m sure my high school class voted me as most likely to pick up a hooker, somewhere and I just didn’t realize it.  I ‘ve only picked up two people ever and one turns out to be a pay for play. And I know all of my guy readers are wondering, “DUDE, was she hot” and I will say “BRO, not really, but it didn’t really matter” regardless. Just not J’s style. LOL

So has any one else picked up a prostitute or have any hitchhiker stories they wanna share? Do you pick up people on a regular basis?


17 Responses

  1. Hehe, yeah holmes that is how it went down. I know your old lady be reading your blog and stuff, but you can come correct with the brothers on here. It’s all good though.

  2. yes, you’re doing right dude.. maybe she has HIV or something.. be aware next time.. 🙂

  3. Justin.
    My God.

    I haven’t seen or heard anyone say “fussed out” since I left Rocky Mount in the 10th grade!! 🙂


    You’re a nice boy, and they know that.

    But damn, bjs are expensive down there – research shows that the price of a bj corresponds DIRECTLY with the price of crack. Usually.

    Be careful, J.


  4. Johnypeeps.. shhhhhh.. LOL

    Jonathan, Thanks for stopping by the blog. Yes she could have had the cauiflower mouth. LOL..

    You lived in Rocky Mount??? Heather I’m so ROCKY MOUNT is not even funny.

  5. Justin, have you considered the fact that you might be gay? A normal male reaction to offers of sexual services should be excitement and perhaps considering the possibilities for at least a few seconds. The way you tell the story it sounds like you ran away like a scared little boy. No wonder she was shaking her head in disbelief – you must look straight.

  6. Justin –
    I lived in Rocky Mount/Nashville for 4 years or so – I loved it!!!!!


    Ever “hunted a park?” Then you know….LOL


  7. That was an interesting situation. Getting her out of the car was the correct action to take. Never had anything like that happen.

  8. Kyler,
    YOu know actually i have consider the fact that I could be gay, i mean seriously who hasn’t. 1. I would never pay to play, I am not, or never shall be that deseperate. 2. It’s wrong and illegal.

    Thanks for the comment. Yes i agree that getting her out of the car was the right action.

  9. Good response. Thanks for keeping it real.

  10. J-dog, thrown down some more posts man. I am getting worried that you rolled back on that harlot and got caught up in her sinful web. Peeps out here got to hear ya hollah!

  11. nice man that was weird
    luck luck with ur problem
    hopefully u dont pick up another one
    be careful out there J.


  12. Dude, you got a $10 discount on a blowjob; were you f*cking high?

  13. I have a hitchhiking story worth hearing, maybe,

    When i was backpacking around the States (i live in England) I scored this ride on craigslist with this husband and wife who were driving down to San Diego from Washington St.

    So anyway, it’s been a long day and we’re somewhere inbetween where we wanna go and where we’ve come from, when we pull into a service station. And that’s cool, ’cause my legs have turned to stone and i need a smoke in one hand and a coffee in the other. First thing i do is head to the restrooms but as I’m coming out I see the guy driver getting up close and personal with an unknown lady i presumbe was a stranger. They’re making out, seemingly unawares of everyone else. I’m shocked and a little worried. I hear a car beep and it’s the guy’s wife, she’s signalling for me to get in, so i run over and take my seat and before i can say anything she puts her foot to the pedal and we scoot straight out of the car park.

    We didn’t stop ’till we reached San Diego.

    True story.

  14. I must admit out of all the accounts of picking up a hooker that I have read while researching this is my favorite. Thank you for making this grim research topic a little brighter.

  15. yea I did, i pick up one by mistake… told her to get out… but as she got out i saw how sexy she was… …. … so, ummm, i had an extra ten in my pocket…… and ummm, … she was finer than my mean girlfriend so…. I um….. um,,,, …um …. hey what was the question again…?

  16. yea she was more attractive than my girlfriend and my girlfriend was mean as hell, never wanted to spend time with me and when she did, I spend like 300 in one day… she never appreciated me… nothing was never enough… so… yeah.. I had mad fun that night for ten bucks… and liked every bit of it!! dammit.

  17. And for the dum guys who say they dont pay to play… they do it anyways … when dating…lol you go out to dinner and a movie ..youre paying to play, even if not lucky enough to play…YOU STILL GOTTA pay bro…keep it real… every date you ve been on youre paying to play basically…

    when you meet a nice young lady you like… and youre taking her out.. either your paying to play long term or short term… thats all up to you. Either way you PAY… She could be an ex hooker, youd never know…. she could be clean, youd never know… doesnt matter… hookers be in the malls , grocery stores, and can pose a normal chic….. go out with you and youd never know the damn difference….

    keep it really real

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