Jealousy

When Jealously shows its face, it’s always ugly, very ugly.

Wiki says: Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values.

I think for some , they can’t deal with their own inadequacy. It stems from insecurity and low self-esteem. They feel that they aren’t good enough, or worthy of you love and attention. These feelings only fester and eventually they manifest into stronger and more violent emotions likes anger, and hate.

Their own insecurity or bad self-image makes them think badly of themselves, if this person is in a relationship they begin to wonder what their significant other sees in them. They will second guess themselves on why their sig. other will stay with them or leave, and of course they fear that their sig. other will find some one who is “better”.

You should remove yourself from the jealousy types. Relationships with these types of people are unhealthy.

Soon you will find yourself conforming to behaviors, that only have been approved by your Jealousy Other half. When you have to 2nd guess your actions, words, thoughts, in order to avoid the slightly rise in jealousy, I think you reevaluate your relationship. When having lunch with a friend becomes an interrogation, when a night out with the boys/girls become more of a chore than enjoyment, when much needed alone time is questioned, I think it’s time to ask yourself this question;  Is this how you want to live?

Of course, communication is the key, but when that fails and it can’t be worked out…RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Put Down Your Checklist.

I hope everyone had a happy Single’s Awareness Day aka Valentine’s Day. I’ve I had time to think and process most of the pre-V and post-V day conversations, feelings and emotions. I’ve come to realize that we have glamorized love and relationships to the point of absurdity. We have become so caught up in our personal checklists that, in an effort to find someone that has all of the requirements and standards, that we missing out on some really amazing people, experiences and feelings.

So I’m saying just stop over-thinking and over analysing people and situations. Stop being so picky and so defensive. Just let the feelings and emotions come and deal with them as they do. I’m not saying don’t guard yourself. There are things to talk about or consider before embarking on an emotional investment that you think will go past Lust. BUT don’t try to plan out the rest of your life from Day 1, things will happen.

It’s the imperfections that you fall in love with. It’s the annoying laughs, the nervous fidgeting, the way they play with their hair when they talk to you, the way they look at you when you smile, their weird eating concoctions and habits, their fanaticism with their favorite artist/band, their love for vintage tee, or the fact that they are 5 inches taller/shorter than you.

Instead of spending a lifetime searching for someone Prefect, you should look for someone perfect for you, and finding someone for you isn’t something you can get on day one, it’s something you grow into. It’s a journey, and adventure for two. If you don’t like getting dirrty(yes more than one r, didn’t Christina teach you anything) then you need to rethink your life, cause Love is messy. PERIOD.

So.. JUST LOVE.. Yourself…Them… Me…

Hell.. JUST LOVE

Why Nice Guys Finish Last

We’ve all heard it, maybe most of us have even used it, and some of us live it everyday. Is it true, do Nice Guys finish last? When did being nice, becomes such a troublesome obstacle for so many people. Why does a positive trait, carry such a negative connotation?

Well first of all there has to be some kinda of medium to which we can grade niceness. There is big difference between doing nice things and being a nice guy. Having manners, and holding doors and volunteering are all nice things. Being a Nice Guy(from here on out NG), is more of mentality that affects your actions, and obviously the way you think. Not hitting on countless women, with vulgar come ons and distaste, bending over backwards for people, or accepting the short straw on purpose so that other won’t have to is being a NG.

See NGs aren’t aggressive. Maybe aggressive isn’t correct word here, let’s go with assertive. They don’t want to feel that they are being to pushy, to overbearing, to demanding. There in lies the problem. Not being assertive at times closes the door to many things. I’ve learn that sometimes you have to actively pursue the things you want. You have to be persistent. NG’s sometime have the mentality that things will fall in place because they are nice, a ying & yang way of thinking if you will. A bit of entitlement sometimes follows NG’s, they feel that since they are doing nice things, that nice things(the things they want) should be fall on them. This just isn’t the case. NG’s care to much about, not what people think about them, but what people think OF them. There’s a difference, a big difference. This traps NG’s into a state of actions and thinking where, they try to distant themselves from anything not considered nice.

Unfortunately for NG’s, sometimes woman take niceness for a sign of weakness. See women feel that niceness = abandon masculinity, which isnt always the case. I dont know what it is about women. Maybe it slightly stems from their natural feeling of wanting to be feel protected and safe. NG’s see so many great women with guys that to them, don’t treat them well. This causes much frustration for NG’s. NG’s don’t understand why a women would be with a guy that treats them bad, when they could have someone better, someone say… nice. “Treat’em like dirt they stick to you like mud. These words are very true. I’ve even had women explain to me that they see “over-niceness” as a sign of insecurity. Now it took me a few moments to understand this. Apparently NG’s are so nice, they must be insecure about themselves, and they attempt to make everyone else feel good, in order to compensation of how they feel about themselves. This blows my mind, I think that if someone is kind enough to take the effort to make you feel good, then that’s a sign that they feel pretty good about themselves, because apparently to me, that person isn’t dependent on having nice things done for them, or being showered with complements.

In the same vein, sometimes NG’s ruin potential relationships, hook-ups or whatever, because they exert to much niceness. After a while, women will begin to equate you to a friend, or a worst a brother. Or women will reject you because you are too nice, because she feels that you will be hurt in some kind of way of never being able to recover should things go bad, and that somehow hurting a nice guy is worst than hurting a jerk. See, the world is so backwards sometimes. The JERK has a better chance with a woman, simply because he’s equated to not having feelings worth hurting. She’s willing to take a risk with the JERK, she has nothing to lose, and she won’t regret hurting the JERK, as she would the NG. Being nice gets people attached to you to quickly, gets them caring about you to soon, to much. Once they do, they hold back and sometimes that’s works in the favor of a NG and sometimes it doesn’t. Being nice, will sometimes bring people to your aid when you need it the most. Yet sometimes it works the complete opposite way.

NG are often label as being push overs or punching bags. Many NG’s have a hard time saying NO. Again NG’s don’t want to be associated with anything negative connotations. They don’t want to feel that they are disappointing anyone. This is why in the work environment, NG’s get dump with the brunt of the work. They can’t say NO, and everyone depends on them to do the things they don’t want to do. Sometimes people will exploit your weakness, the very thing you regard your strength. People will have you bending over backwards if you aren’t careful.

So I why do I know so much about NG’s well, I used to be one, I’ve suffered the fate from much up above. I’ve learned a lot recently and its taking me a long time to see and grow. I won’t say I’m not a nice guy anymore, I’m just a nice guy with a bit of an edge now…

Nice guys may finish last, but we finish on top!!

3 Degrees of Joel Osteen

I’m a firm believer that certain things happen in three. Normally Celebrities die in 3’s(i’ll research that later). I’ve recently got my 3 Degrees of Joel Osteen. While at winter break I was reading in Details about Joel Osteen’s new book. The Better You, it was mentioned randomly in some article about self improvement and mention how it got an initial print of 3 million. A few issues later in another Details(catching up people), in th Power issue, they listed him in the top 50. Blah blah about having the largest church in America 40K+, saving souls in what used to be the Houston Rocket’s Dome.

So the next day I’m walking around the house at night, trying find a late night snack and I pass through the living room and guess who’s on on the TV…Mr. Joel Osteen is being interviewed by Larry King. Oddly enough I watch the few moments of the interview and went back to my little cave.

Lastly a few nights later my grandma is watching TV, and you’ll never believe who was on the TV.. Joel Osteen. Yup preaching the message to the thousands of people in attendance, and the millions at home.

So what is God trying to tell me? Do I need to buy his latest book, do I need to sit down and actual watch a complete telecast of his sermon. I am surely not sending this man any money, don’t you worry. But it jus strikes me as odd, how all this Osteen sorta poped up at th moment. Has anyone out there read the book yet?

Integrity

 Integrity…at the end of the day, sometimes it’ all you got.

You know people can say what they want to say, and you know what they will. “So-n-so dresses nice, acts goofy, smells, So-n-so has no sense of style, is not that hot,  is somewhat dorky, is pretty smart etc.” Personally, I really don’t care about those things, as long as at the end of the day, people can say good things about my character.

It’s more important for people to say “There’s Justin, he’s dependable, he’s honest, Justin is a man of his word, he’s genuine, he always does good work etc”.  So in a sense, I’m less concerned with what people think ABOUT me, and more concerned with what people think OF me. I hope that makes sense.  I want people to have good things to say about the things that make me, me.

Your integrity should be the thing you protect the most about yourself, an aspect that you try to improve upon the most, as it affects nearly all aspects of your life.  It molds and shapes what type of lover, friend and worker you are, it affects how you interact with people, how you perceive people and how you treat people.

We have to stand for something.  We talked about Branding at work today and personally I want my own personal Brand.  I want to be able and go in and leave my mark on anything that I touch and people will know what to expect.  Gotta bring the A game as they say. Bring it all day, every day.

Have you done anything to improve upon your integrity today?  If not.. CHOP CHOP

The Types of People You Should Be Friends With Part I

1. The Mechanic – Always great to know a great mechanic. Saves you much time and money.  Follow their advice and your car will never give you any serious trouble.  If the day of the “Great Breakdown” happens, you’ll be assured that you won’t get reamed by other mechanics. My mechanic, is a guy name Daniel, that I went to High School with.

2. The Good-Looking One– A guy or girl’s best friend in sticky situations.  Having a HOT friend can save your butt big time.  If you have a hot brother or sister, that works well too. Use accurately: As bait, cover ups, chick/guy magnets, calss reunions,  date rescuers…

3. The Lawyer- Very important. Leases, contracts, sticky legal webs.  This person will undoubtedly keep you out of jail, and from being Duped by “the Man”. Wanna know if you can legally sell your soul on Ebay, ask your lawyer..

4. The Doctor– This one is an easy one.  Knowing a doctor, is just simply on the better things you can ever do in life. Prone to injury this is a must for you then. Prone to weird and embarrassing rashes, fungi and other body  irregularities, this a must for you too. Fortunately for me, my former room mate is in Medical School, and hes wants to be a plastic surgeon.  Yay, free PS for me, cause he wouldn’t have passed Immunology without me, LOL.. Not to mention I’ve got compromising Pictures. MUAHHAHAH

5. The Guy with a Record— No I’m not talking music here.  Its okay to have that one shady person at you arsenal. You just never know when you need that “favor”. No need to get Your hands dirty LOL.. Heck find the right one and you won’t have to call in the favor, just submit the umm”Challenges” and they will readily accept.

6. The Techy– The Electronic savior. Computers, TV’s stero’s, Ipod.. If it’s broke they know how to fix it, and most likely will do it for, to show you how smart they are.  Need an electronic to do something, it’s not suppose to do, this is your go to man. Forget Pimp my Ride, It’s Pimp my Ipod. Hacking optional…

7. The Nobody– The Nobody is an easy pick.  Your lackey, your pawn, easily usable as a filler in any situation.

8. The Muscle/Athlete– Sometime you just need brute strength.  Need help moving: the Muscle.  Need to to win that softball game:the Muscle.  Need to intimidate a bully: the Muscle. Need to look tough by beating up a huge guy: beg the Muscle to allow it. (Pete, back of green peas and two tylenol, every 4 hours, the swelling will go down by Sat. I promise) LOL

9. The Artist— All derivatives apply here.. Sometimes you just can’t say it in words. You need pictures, drawings, Body Chalk lines moved to another location. Can be use to to decorate houses and parties.  Always creative, always emotion. Gotta like the EMO kids..

10. A Preacher. We have them, but do you really know him/her.  You mentor and guidance for all of life’s questions.  Helps you and all else fails. Also who needs to wait for Sunday to ask for forgiveness, when you’ve got the Pastor on speed dial. You also never know when you need a quick hitching.

Future Types:

Author/Poet, Extra Mommie, The Culinary Blessed….

Turn Off The Gaydar

Ok folks it 2007, You were wrong about Y2k, WMD’s and Sanjaya, so that means your ability to tell if someone is gay or not, is most likely out of whack.  You never know these days, and people need to stop using all of these superfical ways of tring to tell if someone if gay or not.

Why the topic.. There this new person and work and people are all wondering if he’s gay or not. They run with the smallest shred of evidence, either for his straightness or gayness.. He invited guys over to hang out. I saw him at this restaurant alone. He’s watches this show.. Frankly I’m just tired of their catty games and gossip. SHHHESH, I’m the youngest one here, my co-workers need to grow up.

Personally I’ve been directly asked once before, and it pissed me off, not so much that I was asked, but the person that asked me, flat out said he didn’t believe me. I’ve been asked indirectly once as well , by a female, who was attending a birthday with me. The birthday was a gay co-worker I used to work with.  I said something and she fired back, with “Oh you’re not gay”, she had just assumed that all the boys invited were gay.–But several people have told me that they thought I was gay, until they got to know me alot better, partly in-due by my over hyper personality and by the fact I talk with my hands.

 I’m sorta ambivalent about the issue.  On one hand, I think people should flat out ask people if they are gay or not, instead of assuming or superficially judging a person. But in defense, think people just have the tact to ask anything, instead of making assumption really. Better to know, than let’s rumors spread though… People like Brian(another blogger) says his co-workers call him names like homo, (in a non mean-way) since he has come out at work, but it still sorta bothers him.

On the other, side, I don’t think it’s anyone’s real business of what one does in the bedroom.  How does that affect anything really, especially in the work, school setting or just being friends?  Let’s not hide behind the fact that most people treat gay people differently.  I’ve seen people change the way they treat people once their sexuality has been disclose. Welcoming the question opens up the door to unforeseen situations. 

Do you think it’s okay for one person to ask another person if they are gay or not?  Is is really an important factor that must be known? What do all of you think?