Things I Do that Aggrevate People..

OUT & ABOUT:

— When jogging, I like to make special trips through fast food restaurants parking lots. I won’t say anything to potential customers. I think my very presence, speaks on them on many levels. Once in a while,  a car will pull out of the drive thru, most likely over come with with guilt.  What?? I can’t help that’s it own my jogging course.

— I wave hello to random people, that I don’t know.

— Sometimes I walk to the beat of the music, and (sometimes I silently have a soundtrack in my head)

AT HOME:

— When I sneeze, I say: “Excuse me, Bless Me, Thank you”.  Cuts out the middle man.. If I said “You’re Welcome” then I would be considered sorta weird

— I used plastic-ware, so that I will never technically have to do the dishes, because technically I never dirty up any dishes. Saves water right?

IN THE CAR:

-If driving, and you go to sleep on me, I’ll slam on breaks and start screaming

-If in the passenger side, I normally attempt to strangle myself at the stop lights

– If in the back of car, I will rock the car at the stop lights, by grab both “Oh SHIT” handle and shifting my weight

AT THE GYM:

–If I’m asked how many sets I have left, I usually give an super high number like 15

–I switch the Time Elapsed to Time Remaining, so that people wont stand behind when my time is almost up.

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MLK Jokes

Here’s a list of all the jokes I received on MLK Jr. Day. Some require setups..

Well yesterday, on Monday, I ventured to school(YES SCHOOL, the FILM SCHOOL stops for no one) and I was greeted by one of my fellow classmates, while walking down a long hallways with editing suits.

Sylvia:” Morning Justin, today I just wanna say black people are beautiful”.

Me: I”m handsome everyday

—————————————

David: Justin, why are you here, it’s MLK Day, bro

Me: Its MLK day everyday, when I look over and see your God-awful face sitting next to me. Thank YOU intergeration

—————————————–

Tom(Last name is Washington): Dude, it’s MLK, go home..

Me: Do you go home for Presidents Day?

Tom: Huh? I don’t get it

Me: That’s why we are in school today, so one day you will…

——————————–

Phone Call: Vanessa(Hispanic): Don’t you think it’s ironic, that because of a black man, that all the white people have off today, and all the black people have to work?

Me: LOL…good point

Another friend who is a teacher back in NC also calls.

Chris: Hey man, thanks for the day off, kids are driving me crazy.

Me: Yanno, I read the “I Have Dream” speech, in the 6 grade, you do know I’m not the real MLK. Jr., nor am I related

Chris: Oh.. Right. Thats sorta disappointing. Now what reason do I have to like you?

Me: Do you want me to list the reasons why I dislike you. Cause I could

That about sums it up. Over and Out.

Tagged: Eight Dirty Secerts

I’ve been tagged by the little kissing bandit, Dame. (cheeky monkey)

Okay, so here be the golden rules:

*We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

* Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Justin’s 8 Dirrty Secerts/Fun Facts

I eat Chapstick

One Testicle hangs slightly higher than the other

I shave my armpits

I’ve been completely DRUG FREE for life

I started masurbating in middle school

I have to look at my poop before I flush it

I can not for the life of me Sleep Naked…

The smell of mustard can cause me to vomit.

 

Hmmm

I tag Heather , DMKimPink ,  Reed  , 25,   Seanbe , Bukol

 

 

Fun Friday:Cheating Joke

                                       “Hello?”

“Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy busy?”   

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” 

  After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got
an Uncle Paul.”
  

Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”   

Brief Pause. “Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone
down on the table,
run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”   

“Okay Daddy, ! just a minute.” A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy.”  

 “And what happened honey?” he asked.   

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on
and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”   

“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”   

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared
and he jumped out of the back window
and into the swimming pool.                                 But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and! I think he’s dead.”

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, ! “Swimming pool? . . .

Is this  486-5731?”

The Types of People You Should Be Friends With Part I

1. The Mechanic – Always great to know a great mechanic. Saves you much time and money.  Follow their advice and your car will never give you any serious trouble.  If the day of the “Great Breakdown” happens, you’ll be assured that you won’t get reamed by other mechanics. My mechanic, is a guy name Daniel, that I went to High School with.

2. The Good-Looking One– A guy or girl’s best friend in sticky situations.  Having a HOT friend can save your butt big time.  If you have a hot brother or sister, that works well too. Use accurately: As bait, cover ups, chick/guy magnets, calss reunions,  date rescuers…

3. The Lawyer- Very important. Leases, contracts, sticky legal webs.  This person will undoubtedly keep you out of jail, and from being Duped by “the Man”. Wanna know if you can legally sell your soul on Ebay, ask your lawyer..

4. The Doctor– This one is an easy one.  Knowing a doctor, is just simply on the better things you can ever do in life. Prone to injury this is a must for you then. Prone to weird and embarrassing rashes, fungi and other body  irregularities, this a must for you too. Fortunately for me, my former room mate is in Medical School, and hes wants to be a plastic surgeon.  Yay, free PS for me, cause he wouldn’t have passed Immunology without me, LOL.. Not to mention I’ve got compromising Pictures. MUAHHAHAH

5. The Guy with a Record— No I’m not talking music here.  Its okay to have that one shady person at you arsenal. You just never know when you need that “favor”. No need to get Your hands dirty LOL.. Heck find the right one and you won’t have to call in the favor, just submit the umm”Challenges” and they will readily accept.

6. The Techy– The Electronic savior. Computers, TV’s stero’s, Ipod.. If it’s broke they know how to fix it, and most likely will do it for, to show you how smart they are.  Need an electronic to do something, it’s not suppose to do, this is your go to man. Forget Pimp my Ride, It’s Pimp my Ipod. Hacking optional…

7. The Nobody– The Nobody is an easy pick.  Your lackey, your pawn, easily usable as a filler in any situation.

8. The Muscle/Athlete– Sometime you just need brute strength.  Need help moving: the Muscle.  Need to to win that softball game:the Muscle.  Need to intimidate a bully: the Muscle. Need to look tough by beating up a huge guy: beg the Muscle to allow it. (Pete, back of green peas and two tylenol, every 4 hours, the swelling will go down by Sat. I promise) LOL

9. The Artist— All derivatives apply here.. Sometimes you just can’t say it in words. You need pictures, drawings, Body Chalk lines moved to another location. Can be use to to decorate houses and parties.  Always creative, always emotion. Gotta like the EMO kids..

10. A Preacher. We have them, but do you really know him/her.  You mentor and guidance for all of life’s questions.  Helps you and all else fails. Also who needs to wait for Sunday to ask for forgiveness, when you’ve got the Pastor on speed dial. You also never know when you need a quick hitching.

Future Types:

Author/Poet, Extra Mommie, The Culinary Blessed….

You Do the Math

Since Friday is a holiday, I’ll go ahead leave you with something for the weekend. I know I’m going to get lashes for this, but I thought it was sort of funny, sort of I say sort of.

noname.jpg

         ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Don’t Drink the Sea Water

Thought I’d lighten up the mood, a bit after yesterday’s Post.. I think I’ll forgoe the other stones for now.

Whale

LMAO