So, I Picked up a Prostitute!

Ohh you know this is going to be a good one. I think it’s best told like this…

So I’m driving around my small little tranquil town. I mean a town so safe, we’ve had two murders in the past 25 years. Well I’m driving through a small community and I see a woman walking. And NOOOO i was not rubbe necking. She looked maybe if she was in her 30’s, dressed casually and walking. She had short black hair and walked with a little bounce. I had the windows down to let the breeze ruffle my hair err air out my car,when I pulled next to this walking lady. She waved and her arms spasmed in an attempt to stop me.

She asked me were I was headed and I told her I was running to the shopping center for my grandmother to pick up some milk and eggs etc.  She smile and said, they she really needed a ride to the store as well, to pick up some items for the kids. From this point, the market was about 3 miles, but completely doable. A woman with kids needing a ride. COME on people, how could I resist. She looked harmless, and so I told her that I would give her a ride. She thanked me and said that she would find another way back, or she would walk back.  She said was tired of walking and was so thankful that I drove by.

Well we don’t make it two blocks before she bombards me with the statement ” I wanna suck your C)*&, how much? I just want $20″. My eyes widen to the size of doughnuts and I look over at her. She unflenched, I slammed on the brakes, so hard the people walking on the sidewalk, got whiplash. Still in shock that (1 There is a hooker in my car. 2. I picked up that hooker.), I politely said “Ms please get out of my car” She continued with ” come on, $10 and I will suck your C@&*. Then firmly said ” LADY, get out of my car, NOW”. She smacked her lips and open the door and got out. I drove out, like bat outta hell, on acid.

I looked back in the rearview mirror, and she’s busy shaking her head and continues walking.  I begin to fuss myself out of course for being so STUPID. I wanted to drive back and tell her she ought to be ashamed or something,  but I knew it wasn’t my place, and nor was it going to be effective.

Me of all people.. ME..oh why me. I’m sure my high school class voted me as most likely to pick up a hooker, somewhere and I just didn’t realize it.  I ‘ve only picked up two people ever and one turns out to be a pay for play. And I know all of my guy readers are wondering, “DUDE, was she hot” and I will say “BRO, not really, but it didn’t really matter” regardless. Just not J’s style. LOL

So has any one else picked up a prostitute or have any hitchhiker stories they wanna share? Do you pick up people on a regular basis?

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Why Nice Guys Finish Last

We’ve all heard it, maybe most of us have even used it, and some of us live it everyday. Is it true, do Nice Guys finish last? When did being nice, becomes such a troublesome obstacle for so many people. Why does a positive trait, carry such a negative connotation?

Well first of all there has to be some kinda of medium to which we can grade niceness. There is big difference between doing nice things and being a nice guy. Having manners, and holding doors and volunteering are all nice things. Being a Nice Guy(from here on out NG), is more of mentality that affects your actions, and obviously the way you think. Not hitting on countless women, with vulgar come ons and distaste, bending over backwards for people, or accepting the short straw on purpose so that other won’t have to is being a NG.

See NGs aren’t aggressive. Maybe aggressive isn’t correct word here, let’s go with assertive. They don’t want to feel that they are being to pushy, to overbearing, to demanding. There in lies the problem. Not being assertive at times closes the door to many things. I’ve learn that sometimes you have to actively pursue the things you want. You have to be persistent. NG’s sometime have the mentality that things will fall in place because they are nice, a ying & yang way of thinking if you will. A bit of entitlement sometimes follows NG’s, they feel that since they are doing nice things, that nice things(the things they want) should be fall on them. This just isn’t the case. NG’s care to much about, not what people think about them, but what people think OF them. There’s a difference, a big difference. This traps NG’s into a state of actions and thinking where, they try to distant themselves from anything not considered nice.

Unfortunately for NG’s, sometimes woman take niceness for a sign of weakness. See women feel that niceness = abandon masculinity, which isnt always the case. I dont know what it is about women. Maybe it slightly stems from their natural feeling of wanting to be feel protected and safe. NG’s see so many great women with guys that to them, don’t treat them well. This causes much frustration for NG’s. NG’s don’t understand why a women would be with a guy that treats them bad, when they could have someone better, someone say… nice. “Treat’em like dirt they stick to you like mud. These words are very true. I’ve even had women explain to me that they see “over-niceness” as a sign of insecurity. Now it took me a few moments to understand this. Apparently NG’s are so nice, they must be insecure about themselves, and they attempt to make everyone else feel good, in order to compensation of how they feel about themselves. This blows my mind, I think that if someone is kind enough to take the effort to make you feel good, then that’s a sign that they feel pretty good about themselves, because apparently to me, that person isn’t dependent on having nice things done for them, or being showered with complements.

In the same vein, sometimes NG’s ruin potential relationships, hook-ups or whatever, because they exert to much niceness. After a while, women will begin to equate you to a friend, or a worst a brother. Or women will reject you because you are too nice, because she feels that you will be hurt in some kind of way of never being able to recover should things go bad, and that somehow hurting a nice guy is worst than hurting a jerk. See, the world is so backwards sometimes. The JERK has a better chance with a woman, simply because he’s equated to not having feelings worth hurting. She’s willing to take a risk with the JERK, she has nothing to lose, and she won’t regret hurting the JERK, as she would the NG. Being nice gets people attached to you to quickly, gets them caring about you to soon, to much. Once they do, they hold back and sometimes that’s works in the favor of a NG and sometimes it doesn’t. Being nice, will sometimes bring people to your aid when you need it the most. Yet sometimes it works the complete opposite way.

NG are often label as being push overs or punching bags. Many NG’s have a hard time saying NO. Again NG’s don’t want to be associated with anything negative connotations. They don’t want to feel that they are disappointing anyone. This is why in the work environment, NG’s get dump with the brunt of the work. They can’t say NO, and everyone depends on them to do the things they don’t want to do. Sometimes people will exploit your weakness, the very thing you regard your strength. People will have you bending over backwards if you aren’t careful.

So I why do I know so much about NG’s well, I used to be one, I’ve suffered the fate from much up above. I’ve learned a lot recently and its taking me a long time to see and grow. I won’t say I’m not a nice guy anymore, I’m just a nice guy with a bit of an edge now…

Nice guys may finish last, but we finish on top!!

Tagged: Eight Dirty Secerts

I’ve been tagged by the little kissing bandit, Dame. (cheeky monkey)

Okay, so here be the golden rules:

*We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

* Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Justin’s 8 Dirrty Secerts/Fun Facts

I eat Chapstick

One Testicle hangs slightly higher than the other

I shave my armpits

I’ve been completely DRUG FREE for life

I started masurbating in middle school

I have to look at my poop before I flush it

I can not for the life of me Sleep Naked…

The smell of mustard can cause me to vomit.

 

Hmmm

I tag Heather , DMKimPink ,  Reed  , 25,   Seanbe , Bukol

 

 

An Affair?, You’re Married!!!

The people are real, the places are real, the post is real. I was hit-on/came-on to by a semi-co-worker. She works with us, but she’s at an axillary site, 40 miles away, so we only see her from time to time. This is not an ordinary,come-on, as physical contact was involved. First the woman is 45 (beautiful, blond, maybe even MILF, level to some). Second alcohol was involved(she was the only one drinking). Thirdly, we are in the midst of a conference in Tenn, which of course is just the interracial couple safe heaven that anyone could hope for.

The conference for whatever reason, had a open bar. Sara(not her real name) started hitting the Gin and Tonic’s pretty heavy. After a few of those we make it to dinner and she’s still hitting the Gin and Tonics. I order a rum and pineapple juice and maybe drink half of it. Sara proceeds to finish it off for me. Our group, 4 ladies + Justin, walk back to the hotel. Two of the older ladies go up to bed, as the time is now 9:30PM. Sara wants to hang out in the Hotel Bar, and Ellen(not her real name), Sara and I, sit at the bar, and just chat. Okay, so Sara is already pretty toasty, and over the next hour gulps down another 4 Gin and Tonics. At which, I say ” Hey, I think that’s enough for tonight, I’m tired” Ellen agrees, but guess who doesn’t? I look her in the face, and say “I can not participate any longer, the big rectangle upstairs, will humor you all night long”. Ellen and I, guide Sara upstairs. I drop them off, and head to my room…

I walk down to my room and within five minutes, I get a phone call from Ellen, Sara’s bunk buddy, and she says “Sara is heading down to your room”. I run and stick my head out of the door and sure enough, Sara is heading down the hall towards my direction (mentally cussing doesn’t count right?!). She knocks and I open the door for her, clearly drunk she walks around the room, flopping down on the bed. She like “Hey cutie, let’s go find another bar”. I’m like “Sara, you don’t need anything else to drink”. She wiggles on the bed and gets up and walks over to me and kisses me(clearly didn’t see it coming) and I back away. I sit her back on the bed, and say, “come on lets go back to your room”. She stands up and says, “I’m 45 you’re 23, can you handle that?”. I’m at lost for words. I’m like “no I can’t”. (DID I MENTION THIS LADY”S OLDEST SON IS 21). She’s says ” I can”. She laying and wiggling on the bed. I’m thinking I have got to get this lady outta my room. So I pick up the phone book and pretend to look up bars. I tell her, that’s here’s one close to the hotel. I convince her to get up and start moving again. My plan was to take her back to her room and just leave her there, but once we get back to her room, she won’t stay in there. So I tell Ellen, that I’m just going to take her outside for a bit of air, all the mean time, assuring Sara, we were going to another bar.

Well at this point, I decided to take Sara outside for some fresh air. I had to get her out of my room. Well we make it outside, and just begin walking around outside the hotel. We cross the street and see a bench. We sit for a moment, and then she’s back to being all over me. Her hands are going everywhere. I gently shove her off and motion for her to get up. As we are walking, she’s grabbing my butt and has her hand on my shoulder. She keeps saying, “You know what I want. We just keep walking. We spot a bar maybe two blocks down, and Lord knows I’m not taking her there. I sorta turn her around and say “it’s getting late let’s go back”. I’m thinking some of the alcohol has got to be wearing off by now. As we’ll walking she nibbling on my neck and I’m pushing her off. Let’s take a moment and visualize for a moment, now. Older white women, young black male, lovie duvie, late night in Chattanooga,–NOT the perfect snap shot if you get what I’m saying.

So we approach the the hotel’s side entrance. She stops and leans up against the wall and I’m thinking, what now. She says, “do, me, right here right now, and proceeds to spread her legs(THANK GOD, she’s wearing pants). I look at her like she’s lost her mind. I reply with “Sara, umm NO, one you’re married, (looking at the cameras) two, we are outside the Marriott and I will NOT be on Dateline because of you. NOW let’s go. I hold the door and she proceeds to enter the hotel and we make it to the elevator. For what ever design reason, the glass elevator there has this long bar running in the middle of it. Sara proceeds to put one leg up on one side, and the other leg on the other,(THANK GOD, again she’s wearing pants), and falls flat on her butt. I help her up and proceed to nudge her to her room. We knock and another co-work comes the door, I gently push her in, and say..”I’m done, don’t you let her out of this room” Ellen, responds with a head nod and says don’t worry and asks if I’m okay. I shake my head and turn to walk away. The doors slams and I hear the locks and bolts beings turned, and faintly in the background I hear Ellen, yelling “Get up out of the TUB and get in the bed..

Sara doesn’t remember anything really in the morning. Which for me was just fine, as I didn’t want things to feel awkward.  I feel sorry for her in way.  Things must not be well at home, for her to be so loose and carefree about having an affair. I know the alcohol was doing most of the talking, but still.  Could have been a lot worst..

Does this sorta of thing happen often? How would you have handle this? Would you taken the “opportunity” at hand? What does this say about marriage and being faithful?

I’ll Pay You To Have My Baby!

“I want a kid, but I don’t want to adopt. I want a kid, but I don’t want the stresses of a relationship”.. This is what was said to me this weekend. As you can see my conversations are never normal (why do these people attract to me lol) Are today’s 20 and 30-something men, paying surrogates to bear their children? With a little digging I’ve discovered that, yes there seems to be a growing trend emerging. Either from excessive sour relationships, being stood up at the alter, or just ultra independence, whatever the case, today’s gentlemen are becoming Dads, and embracing the new motto: No Wife, No Problem!!

So exactly how much is this going to cost me? The cost of surrogate birth, including legal and medical fees comes to a staggering 95-K 125k. Let’s see how this is broken down: buying eggs, up to 50K depending on the donor’s looks, education, and professional achievement; 15K for vitro fertilization of a man’s sperm; 30K for hiring a young woman who will allow the embryo to be implanted in her uterus. The paying of donors for certain attributes, worries me… What attributes are you willing to pay for; blue eyes, green eyes, blond hair, and what does that say about the attribute?? Does that mean certain colors or flavors are better than others? Are we going to start “race” selecting our children?–Nazi engineering anyone, anyone at all?, oh just me? Riiight? manbaby.jpg

The US is one of the few countries in which paid surrogacy is legal. It depends on the state though. It’s legal in Maryland, but iilegal in DC. So now you have father-hopeful jumping state lines just in hopes of having a child. The artificial reproductive technology is a 3-billion-a-year industry in the US alone(who knew!!!). You would think there would be much more regulations, but there isn’t. Some guys are getting the short end of the stick. There have been cases where, after giving birth, some woman have won custody battles to keep the children. (I don’t see that happens, just put the farther’s name on the birth certificate only..duhhhh) Other cases involve men paying for eggs and then the women, have problems getting pregnant. That’s a lousy way to blow 7500 bucks. I know some of you are thinking what kind of people do these sorts of things. There’s a much high demand for these unions. All it takes is a decently wealthy man, and a willing fertile female. Often times young married couples are in such need of money, that they are willing to do this. That’s the kicker, in most cases these aren’t single men, paying single women to bear children, the women are generally married and range from 21-35.(mind blowing I know)

Guys, let’s talk for a moment. Has it really come down to this? There are better things to spend money on, seriously. I mean sure relationships are something that require alot of work, time an effort. Raising a kid is a big deal, and while yes, women have been doing it “by themselves” for years, I’m sure not ny choice… I want a wife and two kids and whole works, life would be just to boring without it, I think. As mush as I like my independence, I don’t think I could/would want to raise a child alone.

Are men crossing social and genetics boundaries that they shouldn’t? Should society be doing things like this? Will growing up mommy-less from birth have a greater effect on children than we can expect? So what do you all think?

PS. It feels good to be back!!!(NO MORE TRAVELING)…atleast for a while.

Poppin Grandpa’s Blue Pills

Picture this, being 20 something,  and using Viagra, not because you need it but because with it you can experience a stronger erection than you ever thought possible. With your new welcomed srtength, you think that you now can become a marathon humping sexual beast, capable of conquering the even most experienced vixen.  Oh yeah, then you drop dead..  At 23, I can’t help to wonder why are we(young guys), willing to die over a woody?

You’re  probably asking  yourself, why are young men even taking Viagra, in the first place. Young men shouldn’t even NEED Viagra. At least I’m hope not. I mean sure who wouldn’t want a few extra minutes of motion in the ocean. But then, when my health is at risk, I’d pefer to get off the boat.

Let me look in my blame bag..Hmm today I think I’ll pull out  Media, Society, Parenting Skills.  NO!!! People are just plain stupid sometimes. People just dont’ think about the consequences.   What is 2-4 hours of hot and heavy sweating really worth.. Your life obviously. Yeah, today’s hornballs are gonna start dropping like flies.

If I died of a heart attack after or during sex, because of Viagra, at the age of 23, I would be completely ashamed and a utter loser. That’s got to be the worst way to go, next to syphilis.  Guess I really wouldn’t matter being dead and all right!! But still…

The little blue pills aren’t cheap either at $25 dollars a pop, Viagra is easily and quickly become a hot selling drug around college campuses.  So as I sit here in my office at work, I’m sure there’s some college kid in the building next to me, buying some thrill pills for this weekend as I type. These buyers aren’t your normal drug taking “losers” either. Therange of user is becoming very diverse. Everyone from preppy to punk, to the scholar to the sleepers. You name it.

So how and why are young mean falling dead from taking Viagra? Viagra is quickly becoming the favored party as well too.  It’s the anti-Ecstasy.  Ecstacy increases desire, but decreases sexual performance. Viagra works in just in the opposite it increase sexual performances. Trouble happens when people take both, so that they can experience the best of both world. People tend to mix drugs and alcohol.  Afterawhile alcohol works as a depressant, and when that happens people start taking Ecstasy, or Viagra to speed things up. The body can’t handle these extremes!!

The real dangers from Viagra come with people take drug and mix it with Amyl Nitrate aka Poppers. Chemically speaking the two should never mix. Most death occur this way, because well, both of them dilate the blood vessels. If you’re going to be stupid enough to take drugs,  dont’ mix your drugs. Pick one vice a night people.

Let’s see.. Mr. Titanium.. or Death…

I think I’m OK just being Mr. Rock

Sexomnia: Raping Partners While Sleeping

Article I’d thought I’d share via Details Magazine + Google + ETC.

Your partner fears that you will hold them down again and have your way with them.  You have no memory of these things; the act, let alone being awake.  This what it is like to live with the dilemma of sexsomnia..

Sexomnia, is officially defined aSLeeps sexual behavior driven by abnormal arousal suing deep sleep. Think of it as a X-rated version of sleepwalking. Instead of running around the house, or standing in front to the frig eating leftovers, sexsomniacs engage in sex, rough, and sometimes unusual acts, all while they are sleeping. Some people would just call it a base case of the hornies, but sexsomnia is a real disorder.  But many doctors aren’t even familiar with sexsomnia, it wasn’t even recognized by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine until last year.  It is thought to be rooted in genetics, but controllable factors like sleep deprivation, stress, and drug or alcohol use also play a role.  The problem can be treated by anti-anxiety drugs.

Some couples consider sexsomnia, a harmless surprise, while other couples are having a hard time dealing with the disorder. It can mess with the “victim”‘s head, cause confusion and embarrassment.  It creates this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of personality and for some people it’s very scary. Some of the cases follow.

1. Richard Anderson, a34-year old from Massachusetts, got three years probation for fondling two girls, ages 11 and 13, even though the mother believed he was a sexsomnia.

2. Adam Kieczykowski(wow what a last name), a 19-year old student was cleared of all charges. He was charged with breaking into dorms rooms and sexually assaulting 10 women. He didn’t remember anything when he woke up.

3.  A couple from Milwaukee, reports that once every few months, the female in the relationship starts going to town on him, orally.

I’m completely intrigued and blown away by the articles I’ve been reading on this. It’s absolute insane.  It does make sense if the disorder, is triggered by sleep-deprivation. I mean I’m sure that most people have experienced,  what we call Twilight Driving; driving a car, while extremely sleepily, and somehow you lose memory of how you traveled a certain distance. Ever just woken up on the road.. That’s the body/mind going into automatic behavior, similar to how the body goes into an automatic sexual behavior with sexomina.

Update:

I know have a friend with this disorder, and I was able to ask a great deal of questions about it. It appears that when he does his sexual act,  he’s completely unaware of his state of being. He unlike like some cases, actually remembers what happens in the morning to some extent, but still has no control over it.

I wonder if there is a disorder for drooling, during sleep..hehe.. Droolomnia Maybe