Dear Narky Larky,
One year ago today, my whole life, my entire way of living was altered forever. Every rule, was no longer valid, every bit of advice was worthless. But in a surprisingly degree of effortlessness, it all became 2nd nature, almost instinctive. You didn’t have to try to make me fall in love with you, I just naturally did. We didn’t have to play the laws of life, or the cannons of “our word. We just were, and that’s what I love/miss the most about us.
I remember like it was yesterday, a night of nerves, seafood and pool. Both dressed in blue, a night that ended with a peck on the cheek, and after that we never looked back. We had no clue of what to expect, and I think the excitement of it all, caused us not to care. We joked about “not packing a bag”, and for the the first time in a very long time I felt connected again, not only to a person, but back to this world.
It was the small moments that counted the most: You buying me a shade holder for “MY” side of the truck, Your face when the crazy bird tried to eat me and my jambalya, helping me take out my contacts!, or the day you gayed me with the nail buffering. I still remember the first time I came over to your house and swanged on the back porch and held hands for the first time.
You tore down a wall that exposed a little more Justin, a Justin once again capable of loving, one that would no long sit back and wish, but one that would get up and do. I owe you so much, I really do. I will forever be indebted to your kindness, your understanding, your love. I still can’t believe how ungodly good you were to me. I miss your smile, your laugh and your touch.
I still live with the side effects of your departure. Some days it’s truly a struggle. If this was paper then it would be soaked in tears. For some reason I just can’t seem to break these chains. No one’s to blame, it’s just life has us on two different paths, and I can only thank God for the time in which our paths crossed. I’d give anything to have a chance to make anything wrong–right with you again. Please remember that I WILL always love you.
And BTW, Happy Anniversary