Release

A change, a release, that’s what I Pray

Seeking God, to mold me like Clay

Been so stressed, I swear my hair should be Gray

Please Baby, Please Please won’t you  Stay

Sorry don’t think so, not even if you  begged with Pay

Sure it’s been the coldest month of May

Your vicious words you used to Slay

My personality, my spirit now at Fray

Took me too long to see through you like an X-ray

You crushed my spirit, like a bud in an Ashtray

I won’t allow it, for me to Betray

Myself and watch my essence Decay

You can try really hard to make me Sway

You say yes, but I say Nay

Look in the mirror, do you like what you Portray

Keep distance and remain at Bay

Said I wouldn’t leave, cause you were a good Lay

The way you acted,  was well “kinda sorta “f#ckin’ Gay”

Its True, that love caused me to Delay

Now its over, and its Okay

And all this anger, frustration and hurt will soon just Flay

I grin, I smile, cause it’s a new Day

But I need to do my own thing, to get out and Play

What more can I do, what can I Say

Chalk it to life, but I’m walking Away

Jealousy

When Jealously shows its face, it’s always ugly, very ugly.

Wiki says: Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values.

I think for some , they can’t deal with their own inadequacy. It stems from insecurity and low self-esteem. They feel that they aren’t good enough, or worthy of you love and attention. These feelings only fester and eventually they manifest into stronger and more violent emotions likes anger, and hate.

Their own insecurity or bad self-image makes them think badly of themselves, if this person is in a relationship they begin to wonder what their significant other sees in them. They will second guess themselves on why their sig. other will stay with them or leave, and of course they fear that their sig. other will find some one who is “better”.

You should remove yourself from the jealousy types. Relationships with these types of people are unhealthy.

Soon you will find yourself conforming to behaviors, that only have been approved by your Jealousy Other half. When you have to 2nd guess your actions, words, thoughts, in order to avoid the slightly rise in jealousy, I think you reevaluate your relationship. When having lunch with a friend becomes an interrogation, when a night out with the boys/girls become more of a chore than enjoyment, when much needed alone time is questioned, I think it’s time to ask yourself this question;  Is this how you want to live?

Of course, communication is the key, but when that fails and it can’t be worked out…RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Things I Do that Aggrevate People..

OUT & ABOUT:

– When jogging, I like to make special trips through fast food restaurants parking lots. I won’t say anything to potential customers. I think my very presence, speaks on them on many levels. Once in a while,  a car will pull out of the drive thru, most likely over come with with guilt.  What?? I can’t help that’s it own my jogging course.

– I wave hello to random people, that I don’t know.

– Sometimes I walk to the beat of the music, and (sometimes I silently have a soundtrack in my head)

AT HOME:

– When I sneeze, I say: “Excuse me, Bless Me, Thank you”.  Cuts out the middle man.. If I said “You’re Welcome” then I would be considered sorta weird

– I used plastic-ware, so that I will never technically have to do the dishes, because technically I never dirty up any dishes. Saves water right?

IN THE CAR:

-If driving, and you go to sleep on me, I’ll slam on breaks and start screaming

-If in the passenger side, I normally attempt to strangle myself at the stop lights

- If in the back of car, I will rock the car at the stop lights, by grab both “Oh SHIT” handle and shifting my weight

AT THE GYM:

–If I’m asked how many sets I have left, I usually give an super high number like 15

–I switch the Time Elapsed to Time Remaining, so that people wont stand behind when my time is almost up.

No-Return DVD = Awesome

I happen to stumble, on what I believe to be a brilliant, trendy idea. Meet the No-Return DVD Rental.

I mean, how many times has this happen–You rent a movie, you get really busy, you don’t watch the movie, then its due back, but you still wanna watch it, and you promise yourself you’re make time, then before you know it… dum dum dum Late Fees, you still haven’t watch it, and now there’s like 10 more movies you wanna see.  Even if you have Netflix or Blockbuster, it still happens. I mean personally have had two Netflix DVD’s sitting on my dresser for 3 weeks now…(just not getting my money’s worth, with my schedule). Like all people, we get busy and things come up,etc.

So how is the No-Return DVD system different as well as better.. Let me count the ways…

The beauty of this system, is that I can watch the movie when I get ready. I don’t have to worry returning it, or late fees racking up. It’s like the Cheaper Netflix or Redbox( you Know those large RED machines at Wal-mart and other various places that sell rentals for $1.00)

The DVD is completely 100% recyclable (YAY  GO Green)

I think it’s better than Redbox, because hey, there’s no late fees!!!

Now the catch…yes well there’s always a catch.  Once you open the DVD and break the special seal, the DVD is only good for 48 hours.(ahem I did say rental…you can’t keep them for ever ppl) So even the people that it takes multiple sittings to finish a movie you can still get it done. I can set my Depp here on the dresser and watch him in a week, when I have a break from my Thesis, worry free.

I picked up a bunch of these little things for 0.99 cents at Staples today.

Hats off to the ppl of Flexplay…well played….well played

Pesudo-Anniversary

Dear Narky Larky,

One year ago today, my whole life, my entire way of living was altered forever. Every rule, was no longer valid, every bit of advice was worthless.  But in a surprisingly degree of effortlessness, it all became 2nd nature, almost instinctive. You didn’t have to try to make me fall in love with you, I just naturally did. We didn’t have to play the laws of life, or the cannons of “our word. We just were, and that’s what I love/miss the most about us.

I remember like it was yesterday, a  night of nerves, seafood and pool.  Both dressed in blue, a night that ended with a peck on the cheek, and after that we never looked back.  We had no clue of what to expect, and I think the excitement of it all, caused us not to care. We joked about “not packing a bag”, and for the the first time in a very long time I felt connected again, not only to a person, but back to this world.

It was the small moments that counted the most: You buying me a shade holder for “MY” side of the truck, Your face when the crazy bird tried to eat me and my jambalya, helping me take out my contacts!, or the day you gayed me with the nail buffering. I still remember the first time I came over to your house and swanged on the back porch and held hands for the first time.

You tore down a wall that exposed a little more Justin, a Justin once again capable of loving, one that would no long sit back and wish, but one that would get up and do.  I owe you so much, I really do. I will forever be indebted to your kindness, your understanding, your love. I still can’t believe how ungodly good you were to me. I miss your smile, your laugh and your touch.

I still live with the side effects of your departure. Some days it’s truly a struggle. If this was paper then it would be soaked in tears.  For some reason I just can’t seem to break these chains. No one’s to blame, it’s just life has us on two different paths, and I can only thank God for the time in which our paths crossed. I’d give anything to have a chance to make anything wrong–right with you again.  Please remember that I WILL always love you.

And BTW,  Happy Anniversary

Love,

Silly Boy.

Random Laws of the Land

Here are a list of random laws from the from places that I have lived and/or planning on moving too.

North Carolina: Home State

1. Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them.(so what is the tax on LSD, and Coke again?)

2. Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

3.Severing Alcohol at a bingo game is not allowed.

4. If a man and a woman ho aren’t married go to a hotel and register themselves as married, then according to state law, they are legally married.

5.It is unlawful for two people of the opposite to sleep in the bed together unless they are married.(includes brother and sister)

6. It’s iilegal to have sex in a churchyard.(I wouldn’t be worried about going to jail for this one I’d be worried about ending up someplace else)

Florida :Current Residence

1. Doors to all public building must opwn outwards(I constantly test this one)

2. It is iilegal to kiss you wife’s breasts

3. You are not allowed to fart in public after 6pm

4. Men may not wear any kind of strapless gown in public.(sooo…. straped ones are ok?)

Cali: Future Residence

1. It is illegal to molest butterflies ( I don’t even want to know WHY this is a law)

2. Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.. (Dang, seems like fun)

3. Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street…

4. You are not allowed to used you own restroom is the window is open.

As you can realize, most of these laws are unforced. I will say that in NC, recently a deputy Sheriff, got fired, for living with her boyfriend, which technically is against the law. Her boss, the County Sheriff, was the epitome of OLD SCHOOL CONSERVATIVE, in regards to laws.  So do you have any county, city or state laws, you would like to share?

PS. In Cary, NC, there’s a city regulation, against the color orange and red. YUP McDonalds and Chick-Fil-A all have this Green-Blue Sign, instead of their trademark colors and logos.