Men are from Mars and Women are Venus (yes i know I still need to read that book).. I believe that statement to be true. I really think there is a communication gap among the sexes. Why can’t women be direct, and straight forward.. I’ve been traveling women all week, of different ages. I’m till waiting for my direct answer from Monday.. lol.. Here’s a little list of She says, She means..
She says: Are you wearing that?
She means: You should change into something else..NOW. You look pretty bad.
She says: Do you think she’s pretty?
She means: Do you think she is prettier than I am? ** This is a trick question, even if the answer is yes, you had better not say so.**
She says:Where do you see us going?
She means: How do you view me?, Am I wife material?, girlfriend only? or just a booty call?
She says:Are you seeing someone right now?
She means: I’m interested!!! If you have a girlfriend you should dump her for me!
She says: How do you know her?
She means: Have you flirted with, slept with, or had a crush on her?
Ladies feel free to impart the knowledge.. Guys chime in too
Filed under: Dating, girls, Guy Stuff, Guys, Life, Men, Relationships, Society, Women |
The Justification of Justin 
Although men complain about women not being direct. When many men encounter a direct, straight-forward woman – they are intimidated and uncomfortable. Often times, a direct woman is seen as aggressive and a “bitch”. What can we do to create some balance so women can feel comfortable saying what they mean without the negative backlash?
Why can’t women be direct, and straight forward..
Obviously, you haven’t met me yet.
I’m all around direct… but I like to change it up ever-so-often. Keeps things interesting. Unpredictable.
Hey… I agree with Angela Y. I’ve had that happen to me.
DISCLAIMER: PAST THIS POINT ARE GENERAL COMMENTS AND NOT MEANT TO IMPLICATE THE AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG.
Women like to feel secure when interacting with a guy. If you notice, some of those questions are geared so that the man has a choice. The woman may not like the tie you are wearing, but gives the man the opportunity to say that he wants it. We know how fragile a man’s ego is, so we do not steam roll over him.
Here is a major difference in how men and women communicate. Man does not look to the future. He cannot fathom tomorrow or next week or long term. Women look for the whole picture, past, present and future all at once (all the time). Hey, We are great multi-taskers! Keep that in mind.
@Angela Y.
First, of all , thank you for stopping by the blog and commenting. Yes sometimes a straight-forward women, can be very intimidating.. I guess that’s comes from the guy’s POV/ego of wanting to be in control, or well at least think that we are in control. When you find that balance..call me..We’re write a book.
@ Corrinne
Thank you for breaking the mold. LOL..
@ DM
Love the disclaimer. Yes I agree, Our ego are fragile, so continue to be gentle. It’s not that I don’t think guys see the big picture, it’s just we choose not to worry about it or acknowledge it until, it’s time..
Hahaha this is funny, indirect questions leaves a man a choice to answer it however he want to answer but a direct question, for example “Where do you see us in the future?” gives guys more room to answer than “When are you gonna ever marry me?!”
In other words, being too direct isn’t very good for the guy’s ego and the directness of the question might just injure his brain lol.
PS : Not to say you are one too XD I meant all men in general.
I took a discourse class in college, and one of the books we had discussed the difference in the ways men and women communicate. Men are all over the place in short sound bites, and women concentrate on a few topics for long periods of time.
Perhaps the directness… overwhelms men?
But being direct and all over the place and intense at the same time — just overloads them. So maybe it’s not a matter of intimidation, its just seeing the woman-thing acting like a man-thing… yet still being a woman-thing. And it just doesn’t jive with their internal understanding of what woman-things ought to be like.
Funny and true for many. It’s time that we, both sexes, learn to communicate freely among each other and not worry about men’s fragile egos or the inability handle directness and not fake “not understanding” what the other sex is trying to communicate.
Life between the sexes is so great when you get past playing all these games.
I don’t know about generalizing ALL women as not being direct. I am direct. Very direct. I have no interest in playing games, or needing someone to read my mind & figure out what I want/need in a relationship. Perhaps you need to ask these women what it is they truly mean…they may not even realize that they are communicating so poorly and sending out mixed messages.
@tobeme
Mark, I can only imagine what life is like, when all the games are done. Until then, I’m just trying to avoid the game over..
@Meredith,
First of all thanks for stopping by the blog an commenting. Yes I dont’ mean to generalize ALL women. These little post, are just for fun and some superficial observations, expereiences.. etc. You’re right maybe women don’t realize that they are communicating so poorly at time.
Very funny and so so true, are you sure we did not go out with the same women at some point. My all time favorite is”does my butt look big in this?” Meaning I dont like this dress/pants but if you say my butt looks big your a dead man.
I always pleaded the 5th..
Horsey
@Horsey..
I love my horsey.. That’s was funny dude.. Yeah didn’t omit the most famous one of them all the “Does this make my butt look big” aka the “Do I look fat in this”
Guys,
We just want to know what the deal is. If I’m just a booty call, just tell me and let me decide if I am cool with it or not.
I have no idea why anyone would ask someone else if they’re fat. If you’re fat, you know it. I’m fat, so I can say that. I don’t need verification from anyone….
Of course, I’m not like other women in many ways, so maybe this is not true for all of us…
I am currently frustrated, so now is probably not a good time for me to comment, but all i have to say is AMEN to what you said in your post. My perception has always been that men are very literal and don’t see nuances or shades of meaning. They want things to be direct–but if a girl is too direct, then she is being a stalker.
Basically, much like women, men just want it the way they want it when they want it that way.
And the whole thing about women being impossible to understand? Men are just as perplexing. i don’t think i’ll EVER understand you guys. EVER. and if you tell me that you’re transparent and i’m still not getting it, doesn’t that mean you just called me stupid? 🙂
rant over. 🙂
You know I’d never expect such a well spoken young man to be a filthy betraying player killer on a text based MMORPG! You truly do learn exciting things about your fellow man every day!
Dude I don’t play an MMORPG’s.. I think you have mixed up with someone else. LOL–But thanks for stopping by the blog.
HAHA this is pretty funny.
Pass this to all the men that you know, cause it’s true… I try to be very honest with my talk to men. I try not to assume they understand “my” (maybe women) language. We do speak differently.
About Nick’s comment — I think the MMORPG comment was a (well-worded and accurate) metaphor. I’ll let you pick apart what he said, word for word, so I don’t further ruin the subtlety of his comment.
Justin: I’ve heard that just from the way our brains grow and develop, men tend to think more linearly and women tend to think more… interconnectedly, for lack of a better word. Note that these are trends, not limits. As I think you probably realize, this idea doesn’t necessarily tell you anything about a given individual.
Many women will often ask probing questions that aren’t for the purpose of seeking a particular answer, as your she-says she-means examples demonstrate. This kind of a question is designed by the woman to find information she didn’t know was there in the first place. Basically, when you are asked one of these, you aren’t expected to regurgitate an answer, but to _produce_ one; you need to actually think about her situation and talk with her, not just pop something out like a vending machine responding to coins and question-buttons.
Of course, each female out there is different, and I’m not even one of them. But in my experience, this isn’t a bad way to think about things. Language is subtle; women are human, not computers. And by the way, men are also human, and do not always treat everything with open directness either.
ciao
Kirk,
Thanks for stopping the el, Blog-o buddy. You make some insightful comments in regards to the motives at surround, why women ask the questions they do. True sometime certain questions are asked to promote not directly an answer, but to promote a display and showcase of of thinking on the man’s part.
J
While I agree you may not be doing anythign illegal if your partner or parents find out what your doing online, they may disagree. I saw a video of AntiTrail software that totally wipes your online activity. The video was at http://antitrailsoftware.com windows, Ios and Android don’t actually clear your activity when you clear your history etc.. So someone can still use a simple tool to see what your doing unless you totally wipe out all the logs.
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